1st Conference

As I expected, I received critiques on my introductory paragraph during the first conference. I really wanted to write about positive and negative influences produced by the media and the efforts of others. Yet after discussing the opening paragraph with my teacher, I realized that my thesis was not exactly "arguable." I stated in my original thesis that American citizens should make an extended effort to help those in need, but my teacher told me that this was not an arguable thesis because "shouldn't we all make an effort?" Then, I added a twist that really made a difference; I discussed how our capitalist economy's mindset of "every man for himself" does not benefit the struggling, lower class citizens.
Though I struggled to make the thesis provocative, I understood the professor's reasons for wanting me to do so. A thesis, even in a third person paper, has to have a bias in order to really give the paper sustenance. I felt with the revised thesis, the ideas I had already written for the body had more power and flowed better. In the future, I would like my teacher to help me with the placement of my thesis. In high school, the thesis had to be at the end of the introductory paragraph, no questions asked. Though I was prepared for the fact that this rule might change once I was in college, I feel that I'll need a bit of guidance before I can master the freedom of placing my thesis wherever I desire.